Ups and downs.... more down then up....
*sigh*Afterwards, I had some personal things going on in my life. Things that put me on cloud 9 for quite sometime after Monday night.... it felt so good to talk to a friend of mine and to get some real grounded understanding about some necessary things. However, today.... today.... well let's just say I am emotional. I am up and down with hormones right now and I am not the best to deal with. Today I am pushing away. Yesterday, I was pushing away. Tuesday I was euphoric but some thoughts came and now they are stuck. I'm trying to shake them.... I'm trying to get beyond them.... it is difficult... My sister gave me good advice. I'm trying to listen to it, trying not to get sucked into a black hole of confusion, mis-spent emotions, overanalyzing the situation, the emotions, worrying about the future. I know I need to take all that I do in life one day at a time.... take it for what it is worth, don't take it for granted, live my life, have fun with it, enjoy my friends and family and whatever happens with what is overburdening my soul will happen.
I know I am strong... but I don't know if I am strong enough. I guess I have to look at what my 'list' says.... what my goals are... what my strengths are... what I need... what I want and what is most important to me. Life will work itself out if we don't push it to take a direction but on the other hand if we don't push a direction will we ever take a risk to succeed.... or to fail... but we will never know if we never took the risk in the first place. *sigh*
My humming bird.... it's fluttering back to me.... my wings have expanded.... I'm not sure which direction to take.... standing on the edge of the nest I must decide how to jump, where to jump and where to fly off and how to land on my feet safely.
posted by Seattlebiker @ 12:36 PM
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