Adventures of the Northwest

Random Updates of the last week...

4th of July: Jane and I went to Burien to watch the crit race. It was exciting to watch everyone and get to talk to people like the Starbuck's women. We had a lot of fun. Jane was getting psyched up for her race at the Redmond Derby Days on the 8th. I then went home and rested and spent a quiet night to myself. Much needed time to really think about some goals and perspectives in life.

Wednesday Night Racing: Racing went pretty well. We had a couple new people with us and it was a lot of fun. My legs didn't feel exploded like they normally do afterwards; however, I also feel I am lacking a bit of energy in them as well. Not sure if it is loss of strength, dehydration, lack of complex carbs or what. A couple of my friends came out and watched. It was nice to have that support and know that they were there. They seemed to enjoy watching but they missed my 4x4 race where I did the best. I let the miss 'n out go - as usual - but the officials made us race 3 laps prior to pulling any of us out. So the last 2 races I jumped off the front and pulled at 26.5 just to make the group a bit tired. Seemed to work and I was able to take 2nd, 2nd, 3rd and 4th on the 4x4 race. Felt really good! Jane did awesome with her strategy in tricking some of the racers in sprinting on a non-sprint lap. hee hee ;)

Friday Night: Worked the track registration. Then got suckered into helping with the Kiddie Kilo which was actually a good thing. The woman that usually runs it wasn't feeling all that well and wanted help; however, RIGHT before the Kiddie Kilo there was a nasty crash which involved two of our team mates and one other guy. Since she is a doctor, she immediately went down there to assist and I was able to do the kiddie kilo. It worked out just fine. Later, I had one beer and I was under the bleechers. UGH! I was told I was quite comical the whole night after that. LOL! Such a cheap date I am... it is really pathetic. It was good though I was able to let loose of a bunch of frustration, disappointment, stress and all else I've been feeling as of late.

The weekend: Went to a family reunion over in Allyn, WA. It was quite interesting. I went on a family member's yacht for a couple hours. It was a lot of fun to be on the water and get to visit with a few people that I am not as close to and a couple people that I am closer too but haven't spent quality time with. It was a lot of fun as we went down the Hood Canal area. We then came back and I went for an hour and half bike ride. It felt hot and I was trying to keep my speed above 16-20 mph. I succeeded on most of it but it was a 'roller coaster' like ride on Hwy 3 and it was HOT. I then returned to have dinner, play with the kids and so on. I then spent the night in a hotel with my family and went to my sister's for breakfast and hang out the rest of the day. It was good to just be there and be with family. We did a memorial for those that have passed since the last gathering and so on. Since it was not my immediate family's reunion I felt a bit like a third wheel. However, it was good to see new faces and to socialize with those familiar ones.

Monday: Where else was I??? The track of course! I helped out with the track. We had 48 racers and it was a good night. Everything went well and seemed flawless. However, the guy that 'substituted' for our regular official seemed flaky. VERY flaky - flapping his arms like he was trying to fly every time he gave direction, spoke too soft for everyone to hear and barely could keep up with the race nonetheless do anything else. Totally not the same... thank goodness that doesn't happen very much! The bell fell on our bell ringer too! :( UGH! Then I took over on the bell - at the end - until I had to put bikes away and then another official, who was racing that night, took over. Thank you! VERY SWEET of him to help so I wasn't there forever! :)

Tuesday: Had a movie date. That was a lot of fun watching "The Lake House". Afterwards, we went to go have some happy hour appetizers at Newport Bay. It was a blast. I really enjoyed myself even if I didn't get home til close to midnight. :)

It was a really good movie. Made me question a lot of things regarding my own life. I wonder about my future, about my goals, my dreams, my needs and my wants. I wonder about reality vs. fantasy, couplehood vs. single life, about people's actions speaking louder than their words or their promises they make. I am people - in my life - following through, building a bond, creating a friendship, enjoying each other's qualities (good and bad), enjoying activities together, sitting down for one on one time and not just building a fantasy '3rd dimension' type relationship. I'm more a hands-on type person rather than an electro-technology building person when it comes to friendships/relationships. I feel I am worth having a relationship with (friendship or romantic). Whether friendship or a romantic relationship, I am willing to offer so much, to share so much, to achieve so much, to be joyous, to be independent but work in solidarity and to absorb that other person's attributes in the same manner. I don't care to play games, to have someone toy with my emotions or to lead me on. I don't like to waste my time or emotions in the electro world if it can't be more involved in a physical world. Face to face communication, one-on-one socialization with mental and emotional building. I feel if I am worth being in a relationship with someone they will make it worth their time to make it 'real'. If not then what are they hiding from? What are they wanting? What games are they playing? How unreal are they in such a real world? Why can't they work towards combatting their enemies or their demons to take on something - someone - so much more positive, worthwhile and enjoyable?

Sure I have some friendships that are mostly email type friendships. So be it. It is not a bad thing but it doesn't make me feel as connected to them. I am one that likes to truly feel connected to those that can positively influence my life. This is especially important on a romantic level more than a friendship level. I can hold a 'friendship' in emails, text messages, etc. but that is all it can be for me. I think after time you lose the belief that it can be of anything more if it never comes face to face. It's just how I am and how I will always be. I don't give my emotions too easily but when I do it is guaranteed to be sincere, open and strong. I don't like when others use me or my other friends to get their needs met but never willing to reciprocate. I'd rather not be 'friends' with those that can't reciprocate and make room for those that can treat me with respect, honesty, integrity and understanding.

Is love worth waiting for? Do you put your life on hold – living day by day – waiting for that one? Do you continue to move on with your life and possibly your paths shall cross another time in the future? Do you continue to move on with your life and never look back – always moving forward? Will whatever force is driving two people together, yet apart, ever change (with time) towards a positive shift or will it always give the same result?


Getting ready for the races tonight.... feeling dehydrated or lacking of energy. I ate too much this weekend and ate some wheat here and there all week. Felt really exhausted all week. Even Tuesday I took a nap at lunch (30 mins) then slept in the car for an hour before driving to the movies. I was completely exhausted! My brain also felt like it was in a 'fog' and finally feels like it is lifting. I think wheat is not doing my body good. :( I hope to get it kicked by Sunday as I am going to do my first road race! ACK! Very nervous and excited at the same time! WOOHOO!!! :)

posted by Seattlebiker @ 10:36 AM