Don't cha wish...
YEAH! A day off of work and I get to relax before going on a bike ride with a friend.... ahhh the life... chillin', mindin' my own business, relaxin' and enjoyin'. Just watching the Today show (usually watch that during the morning when getting ready for work) and happened to flip over to The Good Morning America Show when they were having their concert series with one of the bands I love! WOOHOO! I love this song!!
Pussycat Dolls
Don't Cha
Oh, baby dolls I know you like me (I know you like me)
I know you do (I know you do)
Thats why whenever I come around shes all over you
And I know you want it (I know you want it)
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)
And in the back of your mind
I know you should be home with me
[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)
Leave it alone (leave it alone)
Cause if it aint love
It just aint enough to leave a happy home
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)
See, I dont care
But I know she aint gon' wanna share
[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha , baby
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha
I know I'm on your mind
I know we'll have a good time
I'm your friend
I'm fun
And I'm fine
I aint lying
Look at me, you aint blind [2x]
See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)
Possibly (possibly)
Until then, Oh friend your secret is safe with me
[Chorus]
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Lyrics to The Pussycat Dolls StickwituI don't want to go another day
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
Seems like everybody is breaking up
Throwing their love away
I know I got a good thing right here
That's why I say (Hey)
Nobody's going to love me better
I'm going to stick with you
Forever
Nobody's going to take me higher
I'm going to stick with you
You know how to appreciate me
I'm going to stick with you
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'm going to stick with you
I don't want to go another
So I'm telling you exactly what is on my mind
See the way we ride
In our privated lives
Ain't nobody getting in between
I want you to know that you're the only one for me
And I say
Nobody's going to love me better
I'm going to stick with you
Forever
Nobody's going to take me higher
I'm going to stick with you
You know how to appreciate me
I'm going to stick with you
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'm going to stick with you
And now
Ain't nothing else I can need
And now
I'm singing 'cause you're so, so into me
I got you
We'll be making love endlessly
I'm with you
Baby, you're with me
So don't you worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you and you know me
And that's all that counts
So don't you worry about
People hanging around
They ain't bringing us down
I know you and you know me
And that's why I say
Nobody's going to love me better
I'm going to stick with you
Forever
Nobody's going to take me higher
I'm going to stick with you
You know how to appreciate me
I'm going to stick with you
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'm going to stick with you
Nobody's going to love me better
I'm going to stick with you
Forever
Nobody's going to take me higher
I'm going to stick with you
You know how to appreciate me
I'm going to stick with you
My baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way
I'm going to stick with you
THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS LYRICS
"I Don't Need A Man"I see you looking at me
Like I got something for you
And the way that you stare
Don't you dare
'Cause I'm not about to
Just give it on up to you
'Cause there are some things I won't do
And I'm not afraid to tell you
I don't ever want to leave you confused
The more you try
The less I bite
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm into you
I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Oh!
You know I got my own life
And I bought everything that's in it
So if you want to be with me
It ain't all about the bling you bringing
I want a love that's for real
And without that then no deal
And baby I don't need a hand
If it only wants to grab one thing
The more you try
The less I bite
And I don't have to think it through
You know if I'm feeling you
I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go
[Repeat 4X]
I don't need a
I don't need a man, I don't
I don't need a man
I'll get me through
'Cause I know I'm fine
I feel brand new
I don't need a
I don't need a man, I don't
I don't need a man
I'll make it through
'Cause I know I'm fine
Without you!
I don't need a man to make it happen
I get off being free
I don't need a man to make me feel good
I get off doing my thing
I don't need a ring around my finger
To make me feel complete
So let me break it down
I can get off when you ain't around
Oh!
I don't need a man (I'm over you)
I don't need a man (I'm over you)
I don't need a man
(I'm without you)
(I'm over you)
I don't need a man
I don't need a man
I don't need a man
Growing up...
We all got to do it. For some reason, today I woke up wanting to walk down memory lane with 80's songs... maybe it's that dang 92.5 channel... but I found the lyrics to one of my all time favorite songs that usually got me crying while I delivered newspapers at 6 in the morning. That I cried to the first time I heard it on the TV show "Family Ties"...
Billy Vera & the Beaters
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At This Moment - (1987)
What did you think I would do at this moment
When you're standing before me
With tears in your eyes
Trying to tell me that you
Have found you another
You just don't love me no more
What did you think I would say at this moment
When I'm faced with the knowledge
That you just don't love me
Did you think I would curse you
Or say things to hurt you
`Cause you just don't love me no more
Did you think I could hate you
Or raise my hands to you
Now come on, you know me too well
How could I hurt you
When darlin I love you
And you know I'd never hurt you
Oh...
What do you think I would give at this moment
Ff you stay I'd subtract twenty years from my life
I'd fall down on my knees
Kiss the ground that you walk on
If I could just hold you again
I'd fall down on my knees
Kiss the ground that you walk on, baby
If I could just hold you
If I could just hold you.....
Again.
Reminds me of so many happy days.... good memories and not so good but I like to focus on the good.... then for some reason it reminded me of blooming hearts... my favorite plant when I was growing up. There was this eldery woman that I always sold Girl Scout cookies too. Her front yard had all kinds of blooming hearts - white, pink, red... they were so delicate, so beautiful. I loved them. LOL! Now I love pretty much anything to do with hearts. Then that got me thinking about how she lived right near this girl named Kelly F... she and I would sing and dance in her bedroom to "Elvira" ...
ELVIRA
Oak Ridge Boys
Eyes that look like heaven, lips like sherry wine
That girl can sure enough make my little light shine
I get a funny feelin' up and down my spine
'Cause I know that my Elvira's mine
So I'm singin'
Elvira, Elvira
My heart's on fire Elvira
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Heigh-ho Silver, away
Tonight I'm gonna meet her at the Hungry House Cafe
And I'm gonna give her all the love I can
She's gonna jump and holler 'cause I saved up my last two dollars
We're gonna search and find that preacher man
Now I'm a singin'
Elvira, Elvira
My heart's on fire Elvira
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow
Heigh-ho Silver, away
*Sigh* good memories.... now I must go to work.... I'm a grown-up now and life has responsibilities. :)
No races for me...
This week I decided I wasn't into the races last night. I just was not mentally focused, physically just feeling icky with the weather and lingering allergies. I figured I can have 1 free pass for the season and I choose last night. I still went to cheer on my girls and to socialize. Actually it felt like a good decision. I was very proud at how well Jane did with the 2 lap sprint heats and even let one of our team mates - Jill - take the points when Jane could have grabbed it from her. That was after Jane came from all the way in 4th position - last for the final heat - and could have taken it. I was also proud at how well Jill and Jane did the 4x4 points race. They both did awesome! One of our team mates happened to crash so I was able to take his bike from him, talk to him while the EMT cleaned off his road rash and just be supportive. The girls were out there racing and I didn't feel that "I wish I was out there" feeling. Shoot - it's funny how I can get that feeling after going for a bike ride and then seeing bikers as I come home and think - I wish I was riding!! Wait! I just rode so why am I jealous they are riding?! Nope... didn't have that at all so I think I made the right decision. My brain was not in the game.
Afterwards, Jane and I were able to talk a lot about how we are feeling about track this year and how some changes are occurring, how we are adjusting to different actions, different personalities and so forth. It is an odd feeling really. I don't know why... but with all the different things going on - I'm ok with coming to the track next week and being ready for anything that comes my way! For now, I'll concentrate on what I need to for this week.
Confidence.... Life.... Mixed Messages.... Goals.... Gains....Losses.... Risk?
Life is kind of funny.... not always funny like we laugh to survive funny but ha ha funny. Why do we repeat some patterns that we wish to never repeat? Why do we allow ourselves to feel in a way that perhaps is not in our best interest? Why do we lack confidence at a time when we need to be our strongest? Why is change so slow and painful at times? How can we move forward to strive towards our goals? To receive the results we wish to achieve? To get our needs and wants met in life? Are we that scared to be hurt? Are we that scared to lose who we are, what we are, what we've achieved? or are we simply too scared to gain what we really want, to embrace it, to accept it, to love it, to nurture it and to risk getting hurt to get what we want?
I don't think it is right for someone to 'buy love', to plead for someone to pay attention to them or to want to be with them. If someone does not feel for you or want to strive to be with you then you can't force it. I think it is ONLY right that someone naturally wants to do this because of how they feel and what they want. I think we all have to fight our demons and to battle our fears to get what we want. If we truly want something so badly we have to fight to get it. It may NOT be a right decision for the long term but it could be the right decision in the short term. Perhaps it is just a stepping stone towards bigger and better things or perhaps it will reach us directly to that thing we need or want the most.
My heart has been broken many a times but each time I step out of it as a stronger person, someone that is wiser, more understanding, more grounded, more flexible and more willing to take a risk for something bigger and greater. How much can one stand to be miserable in the path they currently lead before they are willing to get off that path and turn to take a new one? making changes and taking a risk is scary but needed when the current path is torturous and you wish to be happy and are not while you're continuing the path that seems 'comfortable'. Sometimes you have to break out of your comfort level to look back, look forward, see things more clearly and take a leap of faith that things can get BETTER if you just put confidence in yourself, in your gut that tells you what is right and stop analyzing what your fears are. Or maybe analyze them to understand them and help you get past them, to make you stronger and wiser.
Risk can be good.... weigh what you will gain compared to what you will lose. Lose yourself, lose your goals being met, lose your passion for life or what? Or can you gain - gain what you want, gain what you need, gain by living your life, doing what your passionate about and not just being an empty shell going through emotions rather than being a LIVING being full of life, love and passion to live life to its fullest!
These are only some of the thoughts I have as some of my friends are questioning their existence in the relationships they are currently in or their need for a new career after being fired or needing to quit jobs.... no one can MAKE us happy... we have to find the happiness and the confidence inside us. Only we have those answers and only looking deep inside can we understand what we truly long for in life and then work on getting it. What I am saying is happiness, confidence, desire, wants, needs, passion, drive and the ability to fulfill our needs comes from within. Outside factors can play a part on and effect your happiness but you got to 'build your happiness' from within.
we all make choices. I am fortunate enough to feel that all my choices have always been an improvement and keep making me forward with more happiness than the previous path taken.... I wish that for all my friends making these decisions as well.
Bicycling with the bike trailer....
So Friday I took my great niece on a bike ride. We woke up, ate breakfast, watched some more of Hello Kitty DVDs and then headed out to Redmond to pick-up the bike trailer and go for a ride down the trail. It was a lot of fun. She was very quite but excited. I stopped at some point when I saw a woman looking in her binoculars at something. Ok... interesting... she pointed out a beautiful bird to me. Then I asked her if she would take a picture of us so she did. Abby stated - I want a picnic.... so off we went down the path. It was interesting as she is about 50 lbs and the trailer plus another 15 or so. I felt the pull on my bike, the 'slowness' of my legs rotating the pedals. I realized how much of a workout I was getting and was grateful that I no longer carried the extra 60 lbs like I did years ago. However, I realized how much I needed a massage and was determined to get one on Saturday!
We stopped in Woodinville and had a picnic at the park. She then got to play at the campground. Afterwards we returned back to the bike shop and she was dead asleep. One of the bike shop employees that that was just too cute. She was even snoring! Obviously she was relaxed in the bike trailer and had a good afternoon. We then went home to relax and get out of the heat. It was a very hot day. She really liked it and wanted to immediately talk to her mom about it. We then chilled, had dinner and went to the store before we headed to the track races. She had a blast although her 'shyness' came out. She loved Jane. She would call out to Jane - Janie girl. hee hee it was cute! At some point, Jane was talking and said 'frick' and Abby was quick to point out that Jane said a "say word" and we don't use "say words".
My girlfriend came to the track as well and had a lot of fun watching. It was fun to hang out with her and have her see what the races are like. Abby started getting wound up a bit at the end and tired. Jane and I had a good conversation in the parking lot and then we left.
I had to take her back home on Saturday. I then had my own adventures between a tea with college buddies, a massage, dinner with Jane and a few of her friends, then the Roller Derby. One of my college buddies joined us at the Roller Derby! It was a blast!! :) Then Sunday, we went to the track for a workout and Jane and I taught the class that afternoon. It was a blazing hot day!! However, I smiled as I hit turn 1 and saw there was a little blue with pink sticker that was stuck to turn 1. A sticker that Abby had received from Safeway when we got the fresh, cold water for Friday night. A sticker I can look down at and remember fondly of her coming to the track races with her Auntie! :)
all about Girl's night and girlie things...
Well last night Rachel and Mom were late arriving to the 'drome as there was an accident in Puyallup they had to fight through. Then they had to do dinner with the kids and Johnathan had such a bad accident he needed new pants so they stopped at Target in Issaquah.
They made it up there when the training session was done. The kids ran to me when I called their name and gave me a hug. Johnathan and Abby wanted to see me on my bike but I already had my shoes off, etc. Then John decided to start running on the track. He was the track king as he ran to turn 1 and slid down. No problem. He kept going and then out of turn 2 he climbed up above the "Group Health" logo onto the rail. Then he slid on his butt all the way down. In the meantime, I was walking out towards him freaking he would get hurt. Abby had run half way around the track - mostly on the apron. I called for Johnathan and he worked his way towards me as Abby cheerfully reached me and shouted, "I did it! I did it!" She was shaking with enthusiasm as she hugged me.
Then we walked off the track and I was saying good-bye to Jane. The kids wanted a ride on the bike. We put John up by the stem and he held onto the handlebars. Abby sat on the seat. Rachel and I held the bike from both sides and we rolled them out to the parking lot. As we were reaching the parking lot they wanted off but they wanted to help Auntie Molly push her bike. So Johnathan held onto the handlebars and Abby the seat.
We reached the cars, said our good-byes although Johnathan cried he wasn't coming with Auntie Molly. I had to promise him I'd have him another weekend. Then Abby and I worked our way home. I got the scoop from Abby how she loved seeing the water, she was going to get a drivers license, she was going to get married. Married I said? Tell me more. She said I'm going to marry my grandpa Ross because daddy is already married to mommy. I said yeah but grandma Lori is married to grandpa Ross. That didn't matter... she was going to marry him.
We got to my apartment and she helped me open the doors and felt very proud about doing so. Then she helped me carry a bag on our second trip from the car and opened the doors again. Once in she immediately was investigating the apartment. She saw my Lemond bike and immediately I told her there were more - one in the closet, bedroom, etc. so she looked in the closet. Then she looked in the bedroom. She said, about Milly, oh I like this one! This one is pretty! She was admiring it by touching all the different color sections on the tire, touching it, etc. Then she sat on my bed and noticed my hello kitty basket and a bunch of flowers (from my TOPS graduation). She then stated I need to get a ring. I said oh yeah, how come? She said to get married and I need to get all the other stuff too. (What are they feeding this child anyway?!?!) Then she admired my Ti bike and said she liked that one too. She then liked my Hello Kitty toaster. LOL! A girl taking after her Auntie!
So she wanted to find the bag of goodies that auntie Molly bought and she carried in. She couldn't find it so I played the hot, cold game and she figured it out finally. :) The bag had her light up necklace, bracelet and earrings set; bubbles and DVDs. What she really wanted was to watch the Hello Kitty DVDs I bought. I told her she needed to take a bath first. So she took a bath... she wanted to use my Hello Kitty sparkling soap. She wanted bubbles in her bath. I told her we could use the Hello Kitty bubbles so I brought out my Hello Kitty container with bath bubbles. She was sooooo excited. (Can you tell I make a better auntie to a girl than a boy?)As she took her bath she played with the vampire and witch ducks on the tub. She introduced the witch duck to the vampire one by stating: hello, I'm a halloween witch duck. She kept calling the vampire a pirate... ok.... ;)
So then we watched one of the Hello Kitty movies. They are actually quite cute and funny. They put a bit different spin on things with sleeping kitty, cinderkitty, kitty locks and the three bears, kitty and the beast and snow white kitty and the one dwarf. We enjoyed watching the movies and then went to bed. It was very cute. :)
After eating breakfast, now we are going to get ready to go for a bike ride soon. YEAH! Should be a blast.
Somehow while racing I managed to keep my lunch with me...
I don't know... too much sugar throughout the day? Just nerves? Nerves and sugar? Need electrolytes? not enough carbs/protein this week since I cut back? It could have been so many things... Wednesday night's first race was an 8 lap tempo... on, off, on, off just a bunch of sprinting for 8 laps. It was HARD! I kept working and working to be one of the first two. In fact, I swear on one of the sprints I was 2nd, the last sprint I definitely was second with a 3,2,1 (maybe the officials changed the point system from what the starter told us) and one of the sprints I was crossing the line with 2 other riders but I think my wheel was slightly behind both of them. It was SOOOOO close like photo finish. I only managed 2 points out of that race. However, John was most impressed with the fact that out of a 6 rider field I was able to come from the last place coming across the finish line on the bell lap to then move up and past 4 other riders taking that 2nd lap. YEAH!
However, at the end of the 1st race I realized my legs felt as toasted as they have felt at the end of the 3rd race the last 2 Wednesday nights. I knew that was not a good sign. I kept rolling around the warm-up circle until I felt I had my legs back. Not only that but after jumping on my rollers for about 15 mins in the am, I walked into work and had a sharp pain near my IT band above my knee. It stuck around all night but seemed to lessen if I was moving.
The 2nd race was an unknown distance. I think we went somewhere between 6 and 8. I lost track after 5. Jenny pulled the first four laps or so. Lara pulled another lap or so. I was next.... I knew it was going to be soon. I was pulling against the wind from Lara's pull out. I was debating about Woody's advice last week - if I can pull to turn 1 then whomever is next has to pull upwind. I could have time to breath again; however, something inside me said as soon as I get to turn 4 I know that bell is going to ring and I'll be in the front pulling and I'll have to try to defend my position for a whole lap. So I pulled up track late between 3 and 4.... and sure enough that dang bell rang.... Still came in last. That was fine... I didn't care.... most of the time I was able to draft and felt good...saving my legs for the 4x4 final race.
The 4x4 was tough as my legs were already spent and my lunch kept trying to revisit me... I kept thinking and finally voiced - my lunch is saying I'm on my way back to you girl! UGH! so needless to say I didn't do as well as I had hoped. It's ok though.... I know I'll do better next week. Next week I'll have had some strong training sessions, more carbs/protein, some kick-butt rest and I'll be re-energized. YEAH! It will be way more fun and I'll be doing well.
I did slightly cut my leg up again. Not nearly as bad... so I need new screws and/or buy the stem/handlebars from Hyun and them get them dremeled. My stomach is also feeling very icky still. I realized this morning that as bad as I felt, even after my hot bath, laying in bed I still wanted to hurl.... that I did not do a recovery drink. I didn't even think about it last night it was the last thing on my mind. Tonight, after track training I'll take something and hopefully that will help.
Jane and I just spoke at lunch time today.... we both feel the lactic acid build-up. All of us talked last night about how we were feeling after that first race. We all felt it was harder than we usually go. Jane was wondering if perhaps without the two main 'fast, strong riders' being moved to Fridays if the whole field pushed ourselves harder. That we didn't need to just fight for 2nd, 3rd or 4th and so on but we had to fight to be FIRST, 2nd and 3rd and so on. I don't know... hard to say. We are definitely seeing the speeds going up. Last night as a bad night for me I still hit 27.9, on a good night last Wednesday I hit 29.4 and the week before that was only like 26.7 or something similar. So definitely increasing in speeds and my strength is increasing. Just had an off night last night is all.
In the meantime, tonight I have family watching me train and then I get to spend the weekend with my great niece - one-on-one. I'm going to rent a kid trailer and take her on the trail tomorrow for a nice bike ride. Then, I'm going to take her to the track races and then take her back Saturday... Saturday I got a tea party and roller derby to attend! Should be a blas. Sunday I got track training and a track class to do and then dinner with a girlfriend. :) YEAH! I am really looking forward to it! It should be a blast.
Ups and downs.... more down then up....
*sigh*
Afterwards, I had some personal things going on in my life. Things that put me on cloud 9 for quite sometime after Monday night.... it felt so good to talk to a friend of mine and to get some real grounded understanding about some necessary things. However, today.... today.... well let's just say I am emotional. I am up and down with hormones right now and I am not the best to deal with. Today I am pushing away. Yesterday, I was pushing away. Tuesday I was euphoric but some thoughts came and now they are stuck. I'm trying to shake them.... I'm trying to get beyond them.... it is difficult... My sister gave me good advice. I'm trying to listen to it, trying not to get sucked into a black hole of confusion, mis-spent emotions, overanalyzing the situation, the emotions, worrying about the future. I know I need to take all that I do in life one day at a time.... take it for what it is worth, don't take it for granted, live my life, have fun with it, enjoy my friends and family and whatever happens with what is overburdening my soul will happen.
I know I am strong... but I don't know if I am strong enough. I guess I have to look at what my 'list' says.... what my goals are... what my strengths are... what I need... what I want and what is most important to me. Life will work itself out if we don't push it to take a direction but on the other hand if we don't push a direction will we ever take a risk to succeed.... or to fail... but we will never know if we never took the risk in the first place. *sigh*
My humming bird.... it's fluttering back to me.... my wings have expanded.... I'm not sure which direction to take.... standing on the edge of the nest I must decide how to jump, where to jump and where to fly off and how to land on my feet safely.
Monday Night Racing...49 racers! WOOHOO!!!
Monday night racing brought out 49 racers to our 'drome. That was just incredible. Everyone did really well and some even graduated up to Wednesday nights. Everyone was a bit overwhelmed but held their own with keeping everything as organized as possible. I again did the bikes in the bike barn - taking them out and putting them back. It is fun. Jane and I went for a walk prior as we needed some girl talk. It was all good and I got a better understanding about things. So that helped me be prepared for my duties on the track. However, I really didn't feel so sociable. This year I have not felt as social as I did last year. I feel like I'm doing - as Jill states - the 'race face'. I just feel like I'm too much in my own world right now to be social. I feel like others may look at me as being unapproachable or snotty..... I hope that is not the case. I'm trying to be cheery and just stay out of the way.... maybe next week I will try to be social.
Redmond Little 100
It was a blast on Saturday!!! I couldn't believe how cute my friends looked on an old orange cruiser all decorated in pink. Everyone wore their pink shirts that Jane so lovingly made with Pretty in Pink as the team name with a high heel logo. Not only that but awesome names inspired by the Rat City Rollers! HELL YEAH! Izette was: Miss Elle (missle); John was: Onya Butz (on your butts); Jane was: Ima Whipya (Im a gonna a whip ya!): due to team problems we only had one so I opted to be pit crew/blackmail photographer.... I forget Hyun's name as he didn't wear his shirt. Hyun was crazy enough, fun enough, confident enough in his masculinity to wear a pink skinsuit that had "Hooray for Boobies" on it with "Boobies" down the legs. Then, the team put a sash around his 'rear' that stated "Princess". It was too awesome! Everyone looked great.
It was hard for the team to pedal the heavy bikes with regular "old style" pedals. It was hard work but they came in 2nd for all their hard efforts. They won the best costume award as well. This was against the League of Super Heros, the Irresponsible Parents, Gilligan's Island and White Trash Picnic. They looked awesome. Hyun looked cool as a cucumber rolling up to the rail and waiting just as if he was taking on a Friday night race. It was hilarious. They had great bike exchanges, great passes around other groups and hey - Jane even did a cyclocross mount during warm-up that tested that seat. Oops it broke... so they quickly fixed it and Hyun and her kept doing those mounts with no problems!
We hung around for the other races and they were just as hilarious with costumes as our team. The races were hilarious with the costumes... men in ONLY diapers. YIKES! Scare me... Byrne team did awesome against 'ride it like you stole it' but came in 2nd. The teams were even encouraged to do a running lap around the 'drome. It was great.
I even ran into people that I used to bike with, hang out with and so on as the Flying Wheels ride finished at the 'drome. It was quite hilarious and fun. So I chatted up a storm before I left for T town to hang out with my family for the weekend. My niece, great niece and great nephew are here from Wisconsin for a month and summer.
Whining will get you somewhere but with no friends....
Not being able to sleep - at 4 am, I decided to get my thoughts out with the hopes of wearing myself out again.
Well last week I felt stronger but felt I had bad positioning on the 4x4 and couldn't make any moves. This week... just wasn't feeling upbeat about racing. Felt really tired after the weekend but more rested after taking it easy Sunday and Monday. I was asked to do the Women's Track Training on Tuesday which I used to open my legs a bit but not push too much. I felt like my legs were very tired Tuesday and I thought - oh boy - I'm going to be too tired to give anything to the races Wednesday night.
Wednesday came... I didn't feel it. Maybe it was the on/off rain in Issaquah all day. Maybe it was the feeling of still not feeling 100% and/or the fear of not doing well after Tuesday. I showed up, I whined, I pissed people off and I was annoying. I know it... I'm very sorry for it. I did a warm-up and pushed off registration until the last 15 minutes. I really had to be talked into racing. I told Izette - I'm not feeling the love tonight and she said something along the lines of I'm not one to give it. I said no the love within me.... no track love.... and there came the change of events. I couldn't even get my speed up to stay in a pace line. I did some efforts but that was as hard as I pushed.
I tried to stay away from the women's field so I wouldn't be a downer to them. I was thinking - sheesh Molly what's your problem? Why you being so negative? Last week you were all upbeat even if you didn't do well. Negative Molly day I guess.
First race was an 8 lap scratch. Thus first person across finish line gets 1 point. We started out and I was trying hard to stay mid-pack but felt like I kept getting squeezed out to the end. Ok, so I'm accepting that I am at the back sucking a wheel. With 5 laps to go I'm really feeling like why are we going so slow? I feel I can just go strong but I'm being held up by the field. I then thought I wonder if I just go out in front until I blow up then it can't be worse as usual (coming in close to last) but as a benefit I may get some of those girls to chase me and wear themselves down for the last race. I may wear myself down as well.... ahhh shoot - with 4 laps down I make my move on the back stretch. I hear the field grumbling and I am focused on the track. Coming into turn 1 I pull off and I think the whole field is behind me. I look down and OH CRAP! Only Devon is on me. I immediately get down.... oh I'll work with her and see how well I can do. Well as Woody later informed me, I should have held out until turn 3 and been pulling down wind instead of upwind... I'll remember that for next time. By 2 laps to go I was dying. I let Devon get away from me. By turn 3 I was ready to pull up track and wait for the field to suck a wheel. I kept hearing people shout my name: Go Molly! Only 1 lap to go! .... ok... so I came back down and pushed. The field came around me.... I finished last but with a BLAST! Compared to just rolling in. LOL! Definitely not how I normally do this first race.
I cool down and then briefly talk to John H. He informs me I did good and that I should drink lots of water and keep stretching out my legs. I did so and as I'm getting back in the warm-up circle two of my team mates, Martin and Brian talk to me. They were impressed by my lead out and told me that if I keep doing moves like that I'll just keep getting stronger and keep getting better. One of them also stated how I have improved 100% from the first race of the year. Took me awhile to let this sink in... but yes, yes I did having come from being a lap behind on the first race of the year for the same race. I keep talking and cooling down. I go infield to get more water and get ready for the 2nd race.
Hyun told Izette, Jane and I to let laps 1,2 and 3 of the 8 lap snowball to go. Attack on the 4-8 laps where you get those many points each lap. (i.e. 1st lap gets 1 point, 8th lap gets 8 points) I turned to them and said my goal is to just stay in the race and go for the 4x4. As we are warming up, I also informed them of my tactic of the last race as they were shocked at what I did. First lap, I stayed on Jadine's wheel. I knew she was going to lead out. I knew they would be minimal points but I thought - if she goes for it someone has to challenge her and if I get some 'crap points' then so be it. Second lap I let her lead as I sat on her wheel and I was able to sprint to steal 2 points. Third lap, Lara came at the tail end and took the points. I knew I was toast. I let the whole field get in front of me and I struggled a bit to get on the wheel at the end. I did it though and finshed 'last' so to speak. However, I placed 4th in that race. Awesome! This is also where I noticed the handlebars/stem that Hyun lent me cut up my left leg pretty good from the bolts. Man... I could feel it during one of the efforts but didn't realize I was bleeding until after the race.
I stayed in the warm-up circle, stretched out my legs, had water, stretched my legs out even more. I got ready for the 4x4 which is 1 sprint every 4 laps - 4 times. There was so much action and I tried to stick on a wheel and get good positioning this time. I burnt so much fuel from the first 2 races so I wasn't sure how I would be doing. The first 2 sprints I was able to take 4th which is 1 point a piece, 3rd sprint I was able to take 3rd with 2 points and the last one was 5th or 6th. Not bad! DANG! Overall, I placed 3rd with 4 points.
At the end of the race as we were coming into the infield all I could do is shout I was coming in the inside. My legs were absolutely like jell-o and I didn't feel I had any strength to even back pedal. They were toast. About 75% done with the first infield lap I could barely push my pedals around. I was getting prepared to jump off my bike. I had no oomph. But I was able to squeak some strength out of my legs and once I did a few more laps I was fine. My heart rate was totally recovered for many, many laps but I kept going to stretch out the legs and get any lactic acid build-up out.
In the meantime, I am missing the official - Phil M - discuss with the women who he wants to now see on Friday night. I came into the middle of it. Izette, Janeen, Jadine and Devon(?). Awesome. Later Jane informed me he also wanted Jane and I. Jane told him we needed more time. Thank goodness! I am not yet ready for Friday with higher speeds and more challenges. I feel I'm really all about finding where my strengths and weaknesses are right now. Humiluation on Fridays can wait a few more weeks - at best. :)
I made a total of 6 points. I didn't make any friends doing it as I was a whinebag all night. I apologize for that... I really wasn't feeling good though. Interesting, a couple weeks ago I wasn't feeling hot for a Saturday workout either and that was one of my strongest training days. I Also noticed I didn't have so much performance anxiety warming up. I was more like -hey well if I suck I suck and whatever happens happens. Oh well. Maybe that is more of the attitude I need (without the whining) so I don't get so worked up with anxiety about racing. Until next week.... with new players, new attitudes and lots more FUN! :)
Stronger but bad positioning.... lessons learned and challenges will be faced ahead!
Jane tried a different strategy and kicked butt on the 8 lap point a lap. I was like 4th and 5th in a 9 person field. Izette was like 2nd or 3rd or maybe more.... I wasn't paying attention as we were all split up and I kept debating about trying to get past and catch up with them but thought it was wasted energy. Then the 2nd race was a miss and out and I wasthe first one out which was fine because the first one ate a lot of my energy. The third one (a 4 x 4) I wasin the back and I kept getting bad positioning and was trying to resolve it for the sprints. So each time the sprint was on I was kind of stuck in the back. Then when it was done I had more momentum and would get towards the front but didn't want to lead for 2 or 3 laps so I fell to the back again. It was odd it was almost like we had a bird flying V and I was trying to stay on the upper outside but I kept getting cut offor go way to the front. So either I was in the front or I'd get cut off and fall to the back. It justsucked. At some point on the last sprint Jane jumped in turn 1 - down - and Janeen was on her wheel and I was able to get on. We sprinted to the end where Janeen went around Jane and I went on the outside. I either got 2nd or 3rd. It was really close between Jane and I. I didn't ask about my points. I figured either I got or 3 points - whatever.
Jane did really well and she tried a different strategy and still had some oomph left over. Izette said I did really well cuz I hung in the middle of the packfor both of those races and even helped push the paceup. At some point I hit 29.6 during the last race andI'm sure that was while on Jane and Janeen's wheels. Usually if I'm on Jane's wheel I can go WAY faster than I can by myself. Izette did really well. She won the miss and out, she came 2nd or 3rd or whatever on the first one. The last one I think she was up there but not sure of the whole order. Overall it was good but after that last sprint- oh my goodness! My legs were TOAST! they were FRIED! I didn't think I could make it to the warm-up circle.I feel ok today... dehydrated but ok. I'm supposed toan 'easy' workout at the track tonight to help John. We will see how that goes. :)
Jane did awesome although she called me today and said she was disappointed. I said what are you talkingabout? YOU did a different strategy and you did great! Next time I'm thinking I may decide - 2 laps... oklet's see if I can jump on them and go and make a gapand see what I can do. Or do a fake lead out - get acouple out there, suck on their wheel and get readyfor the real sprint. :) hmmmm we will see what opportunities there are. A bunch of the counterbalance chicks should be coming up soon and it will make it quite difficult.... should be good challenges.
